첨삭 받은고~

우리 학원은 첨삭 통에다가 아무거나 넣으면 첨삭해준당~개이득~ 그래서 그걸 활용해봤다.

 

졸라마니틀림 ㅎ

내가 쓴고 틀린거 (수정) ↓ 

Thank you for correct this (=Thank you for correcting this)

I want to apply for the guide job.( 'I would like' sounds nicer )

I was born in this city, and I lived more than 25 years. ( have lived here for more than ) I really love my city, and know well about it. ( I know it well. ) As you know, our city is not as famouse(famous) as other popular cities like Seoul, So the person who knows a lot about the city will be good for the job. And also, I've been so many cities in other countries before, (I've been to so many cities ) I know what is attractive to trevelers( travelers 으아아아 왜자꾸 철자틀려 흑흑 ) Therefore, I'm sure I can explain the city so well.( very well ) Infact, I've invited my friends to here several times before.(friends here) I brought them to good spots like park, markets, and so on. (took)
If you give me a chance to have an interview, I can prove. I can show you my ability. Thank you for read this (reading).

 

슨새님의 평가. (누군진모름 '-'....)

Quite good, just rememver to leave some space between paragraphs. 네..근데 문단나누기 애매할땐 어떡하나요...

Also, try to meet the word count (150 words minimum) 네..알지만 150자가 안만들어졋습니다.

 

아무튼, 이건 내일 또! 복습을 해야한다 왜냐면 내가 왜틀렷는지를 모른다! 글렌을 내일도 귀찮게 해야겟다